2020 has been a year of journeys – not the type I had envisaged and certainly not the type I would want to repeat! However, each journey does bring a special something that is worth holding onto.
Those that know me well know I love a quotation to reflect on and gain strength from. So, here goes… God loves. God guides.
‘The Lord will protect you…’ Psalm 127:8.
I am sure I am not alone in questioning these beliefs, particularly during these unprecedented times. As I worked my way through active treatment for breast cancer this year, I had a profound experience that highlighted just how much the light does shine in the dark.
Receiving chemotherapy during Covid-19 was an incredibly lonesome experience. It was almost like entering a morgue with staff covered from head to toe in PPE and patients reacting of fear, uncertainty and also a sense of gratitude to be still receiving treatment. People were meticulously trying to abide by the government guidance on social distancing which was tricky when medication is being administered for prolonged periods of time.
There is one particular Wednesday I wanted to reflect on. On this day I was welcomed and settled into the treatment area really nicely. I was calm and focused on getting through the day. Then, things took an unexpected turn for the worst. I felt incredibly unwell. I had never known anything like it. I thought I was going to instantly combust and die. This is no exaggeration! The nurses swooped around me. There were panicked sounds as the area was cleared and the curtains pulled round me. I am so very grateful for what happened inside the unsociable distant cocoon. Gloves were off. Reassurance was given. Tears were wiped. I was brought back to a safe place. I was terrified and just about managed to whisper ‘What is happening to me?’ Amanda sat down with me and stroked my arm for ages. I could feel she didn’t have her gloves on. She told me I would be okay.
This emotional journey taught me so much about there being a light in darkness. Whether you are a believer or not, I invite you to flip the bad / dark journeys on their head and focus on a special something such as acts of kindness that may have been demonstrated.
There is always good – even in bleak situations!