Ethical_Leader

#DailyWritingChallenge Day 54: Peace

noun. freedom from disturbance; tranquillity; a state or period in which there is no war or a war has ended.

Whilst the chaos, the crisis and the craziness of the last few months has raged on, I have created a bubble of peace around me. My life has become peaceful for the first time in a very long time and my soul has found peace too. It is one of my many silver linings from this bizarre life experience that we did not anticipate would frame our 2020. Slowness, stillness, silence and solitude have become my friends.

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#DailyWritingChallenge Day 53: Happiness

The term happiness is used in the context of mental or emotional states, including positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy. It is also used in the context of life satisfaction, subjective well-being, eudaimonia, flourishing and well-being.

Being happy is a state of mind, it is an intention, it is a choice.

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#LockdownLeadership Blog 11: Leadership Confessions

The #LockdownLeadership series is a collection of anonymous blogs about leadership during these uncertain times. Share your leadership journeys: confessions… conversations… celebrations… challenges… Reflect on your moments of: courage… compassion… clarity… craziness… Email 500 words to hello@hannah-wilson.co.uk to be shared in this safe space.

Question: Is anyone else secretly enjoying lockdown life?

For the first time in 7 years of teaching, 4 as a Head of Year, I have time to complete online CPD, listen to podcasts to boost my curriculum knowledge, embed new techniques to further students learning and hold teacher meetings online to share and discuss ideas. I’ve had time to reflect on what I teach and where I can improve, remove and edit schemes of work or lessons.

So, this has led me to think – why? At school I am always rushing around like a headless chicken. So how do I seem to have time to do all these wonderful things?

Here is a typical scenario I face as a HOY – ‘John’ calls me an ‘f***ing idiot’ in class. Therefore, I have to get John and witnesses to write statements. 20minutes of my time is gone. I then ring John’s parents who say that I am lying, he wouldn’t do that and demand a meeting. Another 15minutes gone. I then have a meeting with the parents who don’t support me until I show them the statement where ‘John’ has admitted to it (he is sat in the room; silent). Parents are adminat that I must have done something to provoke him to swear. Another 30minutes gone. Then I have to log everything online and set a sanction. 10more minutes vanished. In total I have spent 75minutes dealing with one incident. Does this situation sound familiar?

In many situations parents automatically assume the teacher, not the child, is at fault. (I am definitely not saying that all parents are like this; most are absolutely amazing and I have often received bottles of wine thanking me for ‘putting up with their child’). But, some parents are quick to say that the school is at fault and that teachers are lazy – a rhetoric we have seen far too often in lockdown.

I’ve spent hours of my day giving counsel to girls who don’t know how to use sanitary pads, made up pencil cases for those kids that come to school with nothing. I’ve patched up students who have self-harmed in the toilet and paid for students lunches when their parents haven’t’ topped up their account and probably never will.

I guess my point is; when did I become both teacher and parent? Now more than ever I am confused as to what the Head of Year role is; educator or care giver? As HOY you are expected to provide a whole plethora of support and aid to both colleagues, students and parents.

I can’t help but think maybe it’s time that schools went back to being places of education, where parents supported the school and the government supported parents with the other stuff. Unfortunately, the pessimist in me thinks that day will never come.

After 4 years of being a HOY, all the emotional turmoil and countless hours spent, I know I made the right decision in January to step down from the role.

#DailyWritingChallenge Day 52: Humour

noun. the quality of being amusing or comic, especially as expressed in literature or speech; a mood or state of mind.

One of the things I really miss about no longer working in a school and no longer teaching is the humour. No matter how stressful my day was, no matter how tired and under pressure I felt, I laughed every day, I laughed every lesson.

Humour is such an important part of human connection and relationship building. It is both a leveller and a currency in how we interact. Teaching is a hard job, schools are a stressful environment, the responsibility for others can feel overwhelming at times, but humour lightens everything. Humour gives us perspective.

My happiest jobs and my fondest memories of teams I have worked with, are of where we laughed regularly, no matter how tough the job was. The colleagues and the classes who made me crack up every time we met have a special place in my heart.

Yes I have had had stressful times in my career, but my journey as an educator has been punctuated by laughter and humour too.

“The only way to survive is to have a sense if humour”.

Bob Newhart

My 18 year teaching career found me working in tough schools, as an English teacher and as a leader, I found myself often with the trickier of classes. Bottom set Year 8 and the D/C borderline boys became my speciality. I worked out over time how to engage them, how to get them to behave, how to get them looking forward to lessons and how to to ensure that they made progress – my secret ingredient was humour. An injection of fun, not taking myself too seriously and the classroom banter meant that they enjoyed coming to class.

‘Banter’ is a word that gets bandied around a lot. It used to drive me mad when kids were upset at the ‘banter’ from others which was masking unkindness. Or when I was disciplining someone who just could not see how the banter was landing and being interpreted by others. But banter in its truest form, is when there is a mutual understanding and a shared respect, a camaraderie, and for me a sense of camaraderie keeps your spirits buoyant.

“A sense if humour is a sense of proportion”.

Khalil Gibran

I can remember as a NQT coming back from lunch one day to find that my tutor group had cellotaped the entire contents of my handbag, item by item, individually to the ceiling of my classroom. They were waiting in anticipation for my reaction. Seeing board pens, lipsticks, keys and tampax hanging from my ceiling made me laugh out loud. I had to laugh, there really was no point in getting angry at 30 bored 16 year old boys who were testing me. The prank also gave me license to reciprocate when appropriate!

I love children’s innate ability to release the tension of a situation by doing something silly and making you laugh out loud, even when you are trying to be stern. It could be really annoying at times, of course, but it was usually harmless fun. There has also been many a moment in my career where I have been exercising mock anger to reinforce a message and get everyone back on track when something silly has happened and we have all dissolved into a fit of giggles.

The ability to be able to laugh at yourself and to laugh alongside others, not at others, is a skill that we do not focus on enough. A good sense of humour is a quality I really admire in others, it is a skill to be able to make people laugh.

“Humour breaks down boundaries. It topples our self-importance. It connects people and because it engages and entertains, it ultimately enlightens”.

John Agard

At the moment, it is perhaps hard to have a sense of humour about some of the things we are dealing with and reacting to, but we need humour now more than ever. Humour should be a thread that runs through our days to keep our spirits up. I know which friends to ring when I need to laugh, they are a resource I tap into when needed.

As we consciously celebrate the micro moments of joy in our lives, let’s also intentionally seek out the moments of humour – the smiles, the giggles, the jokes and the laughter that will keep us going when we feel low and when things seem impossible, as life feels easier when we can laugh at it and ourselves.

#DailyWritingChallenge Day 51: Roots

noun/ plural noun: roots. the part of a plant which attaches it to the ground or to a support, typically underground, conveying water and nourishment to the rest of the plant via numerous branches and fibres; the basic cause, source, or origin of something.

My roots are deep but spread in Oxfordshire, Devon and Canada.

I was born in Henley. My parents were young and newly weds – my Dad was a farm manager and had to be married to take on the job so they were married at 18 and 21, they had me at 20 and 23, then my sister a year later. They moved to Devon when I was 3 years old so although I have memories of the farm where I spent my early years, they are a bit blurry. My childhood memories are mainly around growing up at Hollyoak House, my home from the age of 5 to 18.

I was brought up in North Devon and my parents have lived there most of their adult lives, as has my sister. Going ‘home’ is driving down the M4, the M5 and heading to Exmoor. I have done the drive home so many times over the last 22 years since I moved out to go to uni, to live in Kent and then London. When I need to revisit my roots it is going back to my parents’ farm and going for a walk on the North Devon coast that grounds me.

I left London after 12 years of living there because I was keen to buy a house and couldn’t afford what I wanted there, I was also ready for a step change in how I led my hectic urban life. I went for jobs in Bristol to be closer to home, but ended up in South Oxfordshire. Ironically I now live 30 minutes away from where I was born. When Mum and Dad came to stay, we had a nostalgic day of rediscovering their old haunts. They told me stories of people I could not remember and showed me our old house, they revisited their roots.

We have family roots in Canada too, as my maternal grand parents emigrated there. My Mum was born there but came back to the UK when she was 9. We have family and family history in Ontario and I have an affinity to the country. My best friend has since emigrated out there so I visit often, we have explored some of my family history together and we visited some of my distant family. A few years ago I went to visit my maternal grandfather’s grave as I never had the opportunity to meet him when he was alive. There was an odd sense of going home, returning to my roots as I stood there at his grave.

My family roots are strong. I have firm foundations. I have a strong support network around me. My roots are an anchor which keep me grounded, they keep me strong and they keep me standing. My roots make my core strong.

“There are two gifts we should give our children, one is roots, the other is wings”. Anon

I am blessed to have been given both roots and wings by my parents. I have a homing device which returns me to my family when I need them or when they need me, but I also have the wings on which to explore the world. I have adventured and travelled lots, but I always come home, to my roots.

My family roots are also our family values. We are not a religious family but we had strong values and principles instilled in us as children, we have an unwritten protocol of how we behave. These values have guided me through my life, they have kept me safe.

My roots and my values nourish me. But like with anything that has life and that grows, I nourish them too.

As an adult I have worked on my values, as an educator I have explored them. I have reflected on them and unpacked them. My values have been strengthened but they have also been tested.

“When the roots are deep there is no reason to fear the wind”.

Chinese Proverb

My roots have kept me standing and surviving on several occasions over the years. I know I am lucky to have these firm foundations giving me my inner strength.

My roots are a constant, they are unwavering. My values are a constant, they are unwavering too. As I have matured, as have my values. As I have evolved in my thinking, my values and my roots have remained. As I have been shaken to my core, my roots have protected me.

My roots give me stability, security and safety.

“Change your opinions, keep to your principles;

change your leaves, keep your roots in tact”.

Victor Hugo

#IamRemarkable because…

Remarkable: adjective. worthy of attention; striking.

“I am remarkable because…”

Why is it so hard to finish this sentence? Can you reflect on what or who has shaped your thinking to hold yourself back from owning your own accomplishments? The voice you hear, who does it belong to? I bet you can relate it to something that a parent or a family member said to you as a child, or a colleague said to you in your career.

Does your inner critic scream: “Who does she think she is?”

Does your work nemesis mutter under their breath: “Get back in your box!”

Or if it is not hard to finish? Can you reflect on why that it is? Have you considered exploring the privilege and the power you have in not having this self-limiting factor holding you back from sharing your successes with others?

Research shows that those who self-promote, get promoted. Go figure. Those individuals who articulate, celebrate and amplify their accomplishments are seen, heard and recognised in their work places. The spotlight is put on them, by them. Whereas, those who shy away from verbalising their accomplishments out loud, stay in the shadows.

Research shows that some demographic groups are more inclined to the act of self-promotion but this is not a skill we are, or are not, born with. Self-promotion is not a quality, it is a skill. A skill we need to develop, practise and perfect.

People from under-represented groups are less likely to self-promote. Why is this?

I believe this is because they/ we have been conditioned to see self-promotion as a negative. Self-promotion can lead to judgement, criticism and if unrecognised or ignored can further fuel our inner critic. We thus hold ourselves back, paralysed in fear.

We all experience the Imposter Syndrome, we are afraid of people realising we are frauds and that our input is not valid, that our ideas do not deserve to be heard as we have not earned the right to be there. This is how we are conditioned to think. We have been brainwashed to be humble and to be modest – that owning, sharing and celebrating our accomplishments is unbecoming.

We know there are societal, structural and systemic barriers acting as obstacles in the pathways of individuals. Women and BAME individuals need to work even harder to smash through the glass and the concrete ceilings above them. Do we really need to stand in our own way too? Should we really stand in the way of others too?

Because the truth of the matter is that we are part of the problem. We are judgemental and hyper-critical of our peers who self-promote. Their progress brings out the worst in us! Self-promotion in others can incite envy, resentment, jealousy and bitchiness in us.

Research shows that there are biases around self-promotion. Self-promotion can become conflated with boasting or bragging. Self-promotion can jar us if it is inauthentic. Self-promotion can make us inwardly cringe in embarrassment too.

If you are a woman who self-promotes, you are looked upon less favourably. If you are a woman who self-promotes you are less likeable. If you are a woman who self-promotes you believed to be less competent. We can be our own worse enemies as the judgement and criticism can be both internal and external. The fear of failure and the fear of being judged stops us from putting ourselves in situations where this may happen.

I am sure you have all heard the anecdote of the man and the woman who look at a job advert? They are both qualified for the role. They both have the same experience, expertise and qualifications. The man sees he can demonstrate 6/10 of the requirements so he applies. The woman sees she cannot do 100% of the requirements so she does not apply. The confidence gap exasperates the progress gap which in turn exasperates the pay gap, irritating the self-worth gap which then starts the cycle over again.

Women thus fall further and further behind. In the current context of Covid-19, women’s careers and women’s confidence are taking a big hit. So we need to be self-promoters now more than ever…

Self-promotion when based on facts, cannot be argued with. Self-promotion is a skill we need to flex, it is something we need to practise, intentionally so that it feels more natural. Self-promotion is about us putting our heads above the parapets and us pushing ourselves out of our comfort zones.

But who are our self-promotion role models? Who can we learn these much-needed skills from? In my #IamRemarakable workshops we have collectively struggled to identify more than a handful of individuals in our professional or personal spheres who self-promote in an authentic way, by showing integrity, by being natural and by not jarring us. Jacinda Ardern and Michelle Obama have both been named as leaders who embody this skill set and who wear it well.

My two visible role models would be someone who I know really well, Jaz Ampaw-Farr, and someone who I admire from afar, Bianca Miller – notably both were on The Apprentice. Both are story tellers, they hook people in with their personality, they share their journeys and you invest in them, you believe them and you want them to be successful as they are authentic. Bianca is an influencer on LinkedIn as she manages her online presence so well. Jaz is a thought leader when it comes to resilience. Both women own their accomplishments and self-promote their impact in their own distinct way.

So here are 8 of my tips on developing your self-promotion toolkit:

Keep a journal, it can be for appreciation or gratitude or a list of why you are remarkable but the act of writing it down helps you to process and retain each small accomplishment on your journey.
Practise saying your accomplishments out loud to yourself. Do it in the mirror and listen to your voice, watch your face. If you don’t believe it no-one else will, so practise saying it with meaning and conviction.
Create a daily affirmation or a daily mantra to remind yourself how remarkable you are.
Share your accomplishments verbally with others, your partner, your friends and family, your colleagues, so they can help to amplify your accomplishments and remind you of each win.
Share your accomplishments in writing, update your CV, add them to your Linked profile.
Leverage your network and use your testimonials on LinkedIn to amplify your accomplishments.
Tag team with a friend and apply the shine theory in meetings to spotlight one another.
Listen without judgement and celebrate each other’s accomplishments, role model how to be successful and proud, in a natural and authentic way.

We are all remarkable but we need to remind ourselves and each other of that. In the last 10 weeks we have accomplished so much, individually and collectively, we have grown and pushed out of our comfort zones, we have risen to challenges and grasped opportunities. I would encourage you to make a list of what you should be remembering and celebrating about this bizarre period of history. Own everything you have achieved so that you do not forget when we go back to ‘normal’ or whatever the next chapter will be.

I am remarkable because… I have resigned from 3 jobs in the last 4 years without a job to go to but I have landed on my feet each time. I am remarkable because… I relocated to a new area, and although I didn’t know anyone, I have made new friends. I am remarkable because… I have started #WomenEd, 2 schools and a new business. I am remarkable because… I didn’t allow gardening leave to define me. I am remarkable because… I have not only survived lockdown as a singleton, but I have positively thrived in the space it has given me to be reflective and creative. I am remarkable because… I am resilient and indestructible.

If any of those statements jarred you or made you judge me, it says more about you then it does about me. I’m okay with that. I am not bragging nor boasting, I am just speaking my truth.

“Be genuine. Be remarkable. Be worth connecting with”.

Seth Godin

I know I am genuine, remarkable and worth connecting with. I believe that. If you don’t then I am okay with that. The only person I need to impress, to be happy with and liked by, is myself.

If you want a boost and to learn some self-promotion skills then check out the #IamRemarkable workshops I and other accredited facilitators are running on eventbrite. You can join me on Wednesday 29th July or Wednesday 12th August.

If you want to practise your self-promotion skills then join us for #IamRemarkable Wednesdays on Twitter. If you attend one of my workshops you also get an invite to join our private #IamRemarkable group on Facebook, a safe space for practising your self-promotion skills!

We are on a journey of self-discovery as we explore our belief systems and move from being #10%braver to #10%prouder. It is a process we can learn on together as we discover that there are a lot of things in our lives that are worth celebrating and as we realise that we are far more accomplished than we give ourselves credit for, and that the only person we need to compete with or compare ourselves to, is ourselves. We are all remarkable because we are all striking in embracing our authentic selves and we are all worthy of attention, we just need to keep reminding ourselves of that!

You can watch the promotional video from Google about their #IamRemarkable Diversity and Inclusion initiative here.

#DailyWritingChallenge Day 50: Determination

Determination is a positive emotional feeling that involves persevering towards a difficult goal in spite of obstacles. Determination occurs prior to goal attainment and serves to motivate behavior that will help achieve one’s goal.

To be determined. To have purpose. To be firm in your goals. To be committed to your direction of travel. To establish the why, the how and the what of a situation. That is what determination means to me. The sense of setting a goal, mentally committing to it, investing time, energy and resource in the process, and working towards achieving it.

“It takes a dream, to get started, desire to keep going and determination to finish”. Eddie Harris Jr

I am a dreamer, I am a starter, I am resilient and I am determined. The finish bit is interesting. I have started a lot of things, I have created communities, networks, schools and projects… I have finished my commitment to the process, but I have then handed them over to others to continue. The legacy lives on with the next leader (s) bringing their determination to the situation. I don’t believe that we travel on linear journeys and I don’t believe that determination means surviving nor being compromised.

I am wondering if some leaders have a false sense of determination. If their determination is a more powerful value than their resilience or compassion, then perhaps that is why people get trapped in a toxic situation. They are determined to survive, determined to serve, perhaps determined to prove people wrong, where as their determination should be directed into being determined that their values, their wellbeing, their purpose is being served and is being honoured.

Our values sometimes clash with each other. We need to explore the tension between them. For example, I can remember a Year 7 coming to me very upset one day after a values-assembly. “Miss, I just can’t get my head around how to be Honest and how to be Kind at the same time”. He was visibly upset as he grappled with his processing and as we talked it out he calmed down. He was determined to live our values and this was causing him undue stress.

“Determination is the wake up call to the human will”.

Tony Robbins

I am strong-willed. I am fiercely independent. I can be stubborn at times. I stand my ground. I have a fire in my belly when I am determined to do or achieve something. Nothing can stand in my way, as I will find a way around, over or under any obstacles that stand in my way. But I am not wilful – my deliberation and intentionality is not at the expense of others, I do consider the consequences. Sometimes I will ignore the consequences, but I do scope out the potential impact of my determination on others.

I think I have mentioned before that both my parents are self-employed so my sister and I were brought up with a high work ethic, we are a tenacious and productive family, we are determined, in a somewhat dogged fashion. We are ‘project managers’ and in some ways we are ‘task masters’, we are creators and completers. Grit and resilience are at the heart of our family values. ‘Character-building’ is a phrase my sister and I heard a lot growing up as we bounced back from failure.

I have applied that way of thinking, doing and being to every job I have had. I am known for being a ‘dog with a bone’ or having a ‘bit between my teeth’. I don’t give up. Sometimes to my own detriment, although I have consciously worked on and through that with coaches and mentors.

“We all have dreams. But in order to make dreams come into reality, it takes an awful lot of determination, dedication, self-discipline and effort”.

Jesse Owens

In the past, I have been determined to: be successful… be seen… be heard… be respected… be promoted… be values-led… be ethical… be paid equally… be well…

In the present, I am determined to: make a success of my business…use my voice… empower others… model my values… have work-life harmony… carry on writing every day…

In the future, I am determined to: amplify the voices of others… champion diversity… advocate flexible working… change thinking… challenge the status quo… show there is another way… write a book…

After all, “There is no force equal to that of a determined woman”.

Sometimes my determination can lead to frustration, in my self and others, as patience is a virtue I need to continue to practise. I am a pace-setter, I am high energy, I don’t accept sub-standards, I don’t tolerate a lack of focus, I don’t respect a lack of commitment, I don’t listen to excuses and I don’t like a time lag.

I fear that some of my passions, like Diversity, Equality, Flexiblity and Wellbeing, which as a system and as a society we were gaining momentum and making progress (albeit slow) with have been halted, exasperated and detrimentally affected by the pandemic. I am determined to be part of the solution in not letting them lose priority and regress. We must keep moving forward.

“If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl. But whatever you do, you have to keep moving forward”.

Martin Luther King

#LockdownLeadership Blog 10: Distant Leadership

For a ‘hands on, roll your sleeves up, get in there’ type of person, having to support schools from a distance has been challenging. As a chair of governors there should always be an element of standing back but never as far away as in recent weeks.

How do I feel?

Well, we were due to go to Singapore, New Zealand & Bangkok at the start of lockdown so I suppose flying is on my mind. So, please imagine the analogy of an aeroplane with the captain being the HT, the crew being the staff & the passengers being the children. This would leave the governing board as air traffic control making sure there are no obstacles in the way of a smooth flight.

So, as we began lockdown my aeroplanes were in good condition. They had all had H&S checks, were fully refuelled & the captains knew where they were taking the passengers. It was not the journey they thought they would be taking but my airline is very flexible & is used to last minute changes.

The journey begins & whilst there are not as many passengers on the flight as we would have liked, because it is for school children, packs of learning have been sent out to those not on board so that they don’t miss too much of the experience. All is well & even the weather is being kind with blue skies & sunshine. At traffic control we have regular meetings to make sure everything is still safe & secure.

Suddenly the whole craft shudders. Those on board hold on & wait for a message from the captain which is soon heard over the tannoy assuring that everything is fine. Meanwhile on the flight deck there are calls to traffic control. What has happened? Traffic control is not able to give a definitive answer but has looked at the guidance that has come in from other airports. The crew have also been sent information & between them they try to plan the best detour to make sure that not only they reach ground safely, but they can accommodate additional passengers.

This exercise will take some calculating as the aircraft has to continue with its present cargo & the additional passengers will have to be taken on board in mid-air. This manoeuvre has never been tried before so there are no blueprints for the captain & traffic control to refer to.

My airline is privileged to have exceptional people working for it. Not only do they do their jobs well, but they are creative & enthusiastic & are not prepared to be beaten by this challenging task. Plans are drawn up. Traffic control agree they are as robust as possible for this stage in the journey. The whole company is feeling comfortable with the next leg of the route which we should start on 1^st June.

So, how do I feel? From the tower in traffic control we have worried about the turbulence that has accompanied the flight but have been able to reassure the passengers and their loved ones waiting at home. At this point I have no idea when the flights will reach their normal destinations but I’m damned sure my planes will not crash!

#DailyWritingChallenge Day 49: Rebellion

noun. an act of armed resistance to an established government or leader; the action or process of resisting authority, control, or convention.

Am I a rebel?

This one has got me thinking… my instinct is to day No.

Do I resist? Do I challenge? Do I disrupt? Do I agitate?

Yes I do. I most definitely resist authority, control and convention. I had just never considered this to be an act of rebellion before.

Standing strong, remaining true, vocalising discontent, fuelling a sense of agency could all be seen as small acts of rebellion.

At school, as a student, I was always obedient, I was polite, I did as I was told. I was never in trouble. But I did stand up for myself and others. I had a strong sense of right and wrong, I was principled and confident enough to articulate to authority figures if an injustice had been served.

“It is through disobedience that progress has been made,

through disobedience and rebellion”.

Oscar Wilde

Maybe they (the teachers) thought that I was disobedient. Maybe they (the school) saw me as someone who was rebelling against the system. I just saw it as my ability to read, understand and interpret a situation or an individual. I wasn’t a rule breaker but I was a rule bender. I had an ability to gauge what we we needed to do to conform and what wriggle room there was, thus identifying what we could get away ultimately get away with.

The same could be said for me at school as a teacher and a leader. My default settings did not change so does that mean I was a rebellious student? A rebellious teacher? A rebellious school leader? In some ways, yes.

Rebellion is often associated with creativity, creative thinkers and innovation. The ability to think outside of the box. I am an innovator, I am happy to pioneer new ideas and trail blaze new ways of doing things. If being creative is synonymous with being rebellious then I will own that one too. I am a mould-breaker. I hate being confined or having my hands tied.

“Creativity is the greatest rebellion in existence”.

Osho

As a teacher of English, Drama and Media, we constantly explore the interplay between the rules and conventions of our subject, and the creativity it brings. Understanding the rules enables understanding of how to break the rules. The Arts subjects encourage you to stop playing it safe, to think as an authentic individual rather than group think as a collective.

I am not a conformist so I guess that is another act of rebellion, the refusal to conform, the resistance to do as expected. I am self-empowered and I am empower others – I encourage others to stand up for themselves, to fight their corners and to challenge the system, to have agency and to act on it.

“Every practice has a set of rules which governs it. Mastery occurs with the

realisation of these rules. Innovation occurs at the point of intelligent and

creative rebellion against them”.

Fiel Valdez

Students, teachers, leaders are guided by a set of rules. Governors uphold the policies and processes which realise these rules. I wonder how creatively rebellious and intelligently innovative everyone is feeling right now? I wonder which guidance school leaders will choose to rebel against in the coming weeks and months?

Disruption can be positive. Disruptive thinking can initiate change. Disruptive leadership can show that there is a different way.

I am hopeful of rebellion. I am hopeful of challenge and change. I anticipate that there is resistance, disruption and agitation to come. The system needs it. The country needs it.

Rebels need hope. Rebels need a cause. Rebels need agency.

Educators have all three in abundance.

There is a difference between Resistance and Rebellion. To resist is to stand firm, to hold the line where as to rebel is to push forwards and to overpower the line. So let’s consider rebelling against rather than resisting authority, control and convention, let’s rebel against rather than resist poor leadership from the government. Let’s own our rebellious streaks.

#DailyWritingChallenge Day 48: Compassion

Compassion motivates people to go out of their way to help the physical, mental, or emotional pains of another and themselves. A compassionate person feels a sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others.

I am lucky to be surrounded by many compassionate people. I am well-connected with educators who possess strong values, educators with big hearts. Their work as teachers and leaders is driven by their passion, their empathy and their love for what they do and the communities that they serve.

One such community I am part of is the HeadsUp network, a group of Headteachers, past and present, welcomed by James Pope, into a safe space where we emotionally hold each other. People listen, people share, people support. With face-to-face opportunities for networking cancelled, James hosts a coffee morning each Saturday so that the Headteachers can check in and connect with one another. The conversations each week are honest, vulnerable and create a shared experience.

On the HeadsUp call last weekend, James Pope made a reference to the need for ‘heart-leadership’. This phrase really struck me. I know that the French for heart is ‘coeur’ and it is the root word for courage. People follow leaders with hearts, not leaders with titles. We need courageous leaders who lead with their heart, as Jacinda Ardern does – her heart guides her head.

“Courage is a heart word. … In one of its earliest forms, the word courage meant ‘To speak one’s mind by telling all one’s heart.’ Over time, this definition has changed, and today, we typically associate courage with heroic and brave deeds”.

Brene Brown

According to my Google search, ‘Heart-Centered Leadership’ means having the wisdom, courage and compassion to lead others with authenticity, transparency, humility and service. Anyone can be a heart-centered leader if he or she has the determination and daily commitment to practise certain core principles.

“If you want others to be happy, practise compassion.

If you want to be happy, practise compassion”.

Dalai Lama

In the last week 3 different Headteachers/ CEOs have reached out to me, worried about their senior leaders and wanting to discuss different solutions for supporting them. These heart-centered leaders are concerned about the toll the emotional labour is taking on their teams, they fear for the impact of extended hours, remote working and reduced holiday time on their leaders wellbeing, they are worried that their staff are not having time to process and to recuperate.

“True compassion means not only feeling another’s pain but also being moved to help relieve it”.

Daniel Goleman

My response is often to check in first to find out what support they have. I strongly believe that Headteachers should have a coach and that anyone working in safeguarding should have supervision. School leaders carry everyone else’s chimps, and that weight of responsibility can be suffocating at times. Processing our emotions, and working through our load, helps us find clarity and diffuse some of the tension.

“If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete”.

Buddha

I know a lot of people, teachers and non-teachers, who are highly-compassionate individuals regarding anyone they encounter, but they are not so skilled at being self-compassionate.

Instead of mercilessly judging and criticising ourselves for various inadequacies or shortcomings, self-compassion means we are kind and understanding when confronted with personal failings. We must remember that humans are not meant to be perfect. We also need to be self-aware that we are often much more forgiving of someone else’s inadequacies, than we are with ourselves.

I read a great article with 3 tips for how to practise self-compassion:

1. Self-kindness vs. Self-judgment: being gentle with yourself when confronted with painful experiences rather than getting angry when life falls short of set ideals.

2. Common humanity vs. Isolation: recognising that suffering and personal inadequacy is part of the shared human experience – we are all mortal, vulnerable and imperfect.

3. Mindfulness vs. Over-identification: observing our negative thoughts and emotions with openness and clarity, so that they are held in mindful awareness.

There are many leaders who are making values-based and people-centered decisions right now. There are also many leaders who are not. Compassionate leadership is the most potent way people can deal with what feels frightening and overwhelming and leaders need to focus compassion on all those who are key workers.

I was reading an article by an Executive Leader in the NHS and much of his advice really resonated so I have paraphrased it here: Belonging is fundamental to human wellbeing and the need to belong is greater during a crisis. Everyone has felt frightened and overwhelmed at different times. Our leaders need to create a positive, caring and supportive climate, they need to enable sustained multidisciplinary team-working where everyone is clear about each other’s roles. Such team-working leads to better care, better staff wellbeing and more innovation. Working flexibly, supportively and collectively across boundaries is the way forward in this crisis and for the future.

“We can’t heal the world today, but we can begin with a voice of compassion, a heart of love, and an act of kindness”.

Mary Davis

As we head towards half-term, I hope that everyone will intentionally practise some self-compassion. A few days of being kind and gentle with yourself, intentionally practising self-care will restore energy levels and settle emotions. I hope that schools leaders and headteachers continue to model compassion to their teams and extend compassion to their communities. I hope that the Government and the Media, show some compassion to the profession and allow the teaching workforce to prioritise their own physical, mental and emotional wellbeing for the week so that as schools begin to re-open, the staff are as prepared as they can be.

“Compassion is not a virtue – it is a commitment. It’s not something we have or don’t have – it’s something we have to choose to practise”.

Brene Brown

Courage, compassion and connection are our companions during Covid-19, but hopefully beyond as well.