Ethical_Leader

#DailyWritingChallenge Day 61: Communication

noun. the imparting or exchanging of information by speaking, writing, or using some other medium; means of sending or receiving information, such as telephone lines or computers.

As an English teacher communication is something I think about a lot. I reflect on and scrutinise the art of reading, writing, speaking and listening. I think about not only what we communicate but how we communicate. I think about what is not said as well as what is said. I think about verbal and non-verbal communication. I think about what is over-communicated and what is under-communicated.

As a teacher of English, Drama and Media, I spent 18 years teaching children how to communicate better. But more I also taught them non-verbal communication skills. I taught them how to read facial expressions, interpret body language and analyse tone of voice. They became experts at reading me and the mood I was in, just as I did with them.

As a leader, I think carefully about communication. I believe in drip-feeding information and repeating it. As a Headteacher, my senior team and I, developed a communication model and strategy that was not perfect, but that evolved to meet the needs of our community. We had different ways of communicating about different things to different people at different times of the week. The repetition of key information, the communication of key messages and the cascade of information was something we continually revisited and reviewed. We intentionally amplified certain pieces of information.

As a new Headteacher I experienced communication overwhelm and I recruited a virtual PA to support me before our school opened. I was too accessible and I felt very exposed. I was being communicated to by lots of different stakeholders, on lots of different platforms, and I needed to streamline my communications and filter out some of the white noise to make sense of it all. My emotional state in the last week has taken me back 4 years to that same sense of overwhelm as I am pulled in all directions. I have revisited what worked then and am reviewing my communication strategy and how to make myself less accessible in my new role, working independently.

Leading on Marketing and PR as a leader in most schools I have worked in, I have also been involved in messaging for organisations but within those institutions I have consciously worked on helping people to find and use their voice. I have committed to amplifying diverse voices to ensure that we do not fall into the trap of group think. Voice and agency come down to confidence, confidence in not only having something to say, but saying something that people want to hear but also it comes down to value and the value we give ourselves but also the value we give to others. I hear a lot the self-scrutiny of “but who would want to read my tweets?” and “why would anyone want to read my blog?” Lack of self-confidence erodes our sense of self-worth and makes us question our own value.

“There is a power in words. There’s a power in being able to explain and described and articulate what you know and feel and believer, about the world, and about yourself”. Tracy Chapman

I believe everyone has a story to tell. A story worth sharing. Through the communities I have started and in which I operate, the power of storytelling and connections through stories is palpable. I joined twitter 8 years ago and I started blogging 4 years ago. Both have honed my communication skills. My voice has grown in confidence and I have become louder in what I believer. I have always been out-spoken and candid, but putting your believes in writing for others to read, or saying them out loud for others to hear tests the conviction of your words.

“Our words have power. They impact others, but they also impact us”.

Michael Hyatt

I thought I would share some of the ways that my thinking about communication has evolved:

#StartWithWhy:

A game-changer for me in how I communicate was reading Start With Why by Simon Sinek. I have applied his simple principles ever since on how I get my message across and how I get my message heard. Moreover, I have shared this formula with others and added it as the first book on any reading list I curate for leadership courses. Most people have heard of the ‘golden circle’ and inverting leading with our what to leading with our why. The compelling hook, the conviction of our vision. Below are models he has since developed though on how to then apply this model within an organisation, and how to turn the democratic, non-hierarchal circle into a speaker to amplify the message.

#FierceConversations:

As a Headteacher I was keen to create an open culture where people could show up, be authentic and voice their opinions. As a whole staff we went through Fierce Conversation training as a way of creating these conditions. The training slowly transformed the quality of conversations in our team, it gave people to be permission and honest. Susan Scott talks about cutting the noise and the clutter and getting to the heart of the matter. Expressing who we are, what we believe in, encouraging others to share their opinions and having meaningful conversations about strong emotions meant that we could confront issues with confidence and sensitivity. This in turn increased clarity and improved understanding within our team as relationships were strengthened.

#NourishEd:

My dear friend Angie Brown has started a beautiful community for women in education. She has a created a space for women to share their stories, to communicate their journeys, to share their lived experiences. She has curated two brilliant collections of personal narratives, one on #ThisIsHowWeLookWhenWeLead unpacking our leadership identity and the current one is #MotherDaughterSisterWoman exploring our relationships with other women in our lives.

#IamRemarkable:

Being involved in this Google Diversity and Inclusion initiative has really made me think about the stories we tell about ourselves in our professional spheres and the control we have over our narratives. The sessions encourage women and people from under-represented groups to consider the Self-Promotion Bias and how by not self-promoting ourselves, that the promotion gap between us and our peers gets bigger. Those who self-promoted, get promoted!

#ShineTheory:

In my sessions I mention the Shine Theory as a way of way of helping people’s voices to be heard. It is an intentional and an accountable method for communication to raise voices and to ensure that verbal contributions in meetings are ascribed to the owner and not mis-ascribed to the loudest most dominant voices.

“I don’t shine if you don’t shine.”

Aminatou Sow and Ann Friedman

As a communicator I have the voice and the agency to use my voice as an individual. However, I also believer it is really powerful to harness the power of the collective voice. As a leader, I constantly challenged by team to use the language of We, Us and Our instead of I, Me and My. We had a shared vision, a collective responsibility and were a united front, the first person plural voice instead of the first person singular voice showed that we stood together to our community, it made our voice louder and stronger.

So I invite you to consider the voices you listen to, and for the moment to do this through the lens of #BlackLivesMatter:

Who is speaking loudly with conviction and passion?

Who is being quiet and withdrawing from the conversation?

What is being said? What is not being said? How is it being said?

Are we hearing singular voices or collective voices?

Which voices are being amplified?

“Raise your words, not your voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder”.

Rumi

My New Chapter

My new chapter started on May 1st – I now work for myself independently. I took a leap of faith in my self, in my passion, in my mission, vision and values. I was not planning on making this transition during a global pandemic, but I have embraced the opportunities that remote working has enabled me. I am heading into my 6th week and so far I am loving the flexibility, the autonomy, the independence and the sense of purpose. This week, June 1st was a landmark date for me as it is the day my website went live. I felt a mixture of anticipation, nerves and vulnerability as I shared my plans and put them out there in the public domain.

I have had lots of lovely feedback on my new endeavour and the branding but I have also had questions about my choices. So this blog is about my brand and the reflective process I have been on, with the help of my brand designer Blue and my web designer Richard.

As a Teacher of English and Media Studies words and language choices, imagery and representation, colours and aesthetics are important to me. I love deconstructing things and analysing the denotation, connotation and symbolism of how we communicate messages. Every choice I have made in my branding and on my website is symbolic and intentional. I have scrutinised it all very closely, and my team have worked with me very patiently!

My Brand Colours:

I don’t think anyone was surprised at the choice of purple, anyone who has been too my house know it is one of my colours. I was keen to use grey rather than black to be fresher, and use lots of white to create a sense of lightness. Blue talked me into the accent colour of green to highlight key things.

What does purple symbolise?

Purple is a feminine colour and a spiritual colour, it is associated with passion, vision, courage and faith. It suggests dignity, trust and virtues.

What does grey symbolise?

Grey is the colour of wisdom, it creates a sense of stability and security. Grey also suggests authority, maturity and strength of character.

What does the combination of purple and grey symbolise?

Both colours connote inclusivity and diversity as they are used to represent gender neutrality.

What does green symbolise?

Green is the colour of vitality and growth, the colour or life and renewal. Green suggests healing and balance.

What does white symbolise?

White is the colour of transparency, it brings with it light and hope. White represents vulnerability and fragility, but also creates a sense of freshness and calm.

The meaning of each of these colours interplays with my purpose in working independently. I am a Leadership Development Consultant, Coach and Facilitator, I am a servant leader who is committed to nurturing others and supporting their growth by empowering them to lead as their authentic self.

My Logo:

Letters, like colours, also carry symbolic meaning. We decided early on in my brand consultancy to go with my initials and my name, I am my brand.

What does H symbolise?

The letter H apparently symbolises power, prestige, wealth, empowerment, intuition, cooperation, balance and teamwork, pathways, leading you to the happiness of home life. Letters have further meanings dependent on where in the word they are placed, as my name is a palindrome, the letter H is even more significant in my name.

First letter – life tends to be approached with material acquisition and personal goals in mind. The person tends to be precise, practical, and organized.

Last letter – things tend to be concluded in an organized and methodical manner; step by step until done.

What does W symbolise?

The letter W signifies wealth, wellness and wealth flowing into one’s life. The energy represented by the letter W resonates with the ideas of creative self-expression, imagination, curiosity, wit, diplomacy, and expression of a personal sense of freedom.

First letter – life is likely to be approached with a sense of purpose, yet with creativity, versatility, and a love of change.

My Name:

Hannah means “favour” or “grace” and “affection”. Hannah is the goddess of war and wisdom.

Wilson means “desire”, “helmet” and “protection”. Wilsons were Viking settlers who arrived in Scotland in the medieval era.

My Motif:

I have been called Butterfly lady and Madame Butterfly on many occasions in the past.

A butterfly represents transformation. Butterflies are deep and powerful representations of life and in many cultures they are associated with our souls. A butterfly is a symbol of resurrection and represents endurance, change, hope, and life.

My Mission:

Empowering you to lead change- in self and others.

My Vision:

Values-led leadership which develops the whole person.

My Values:

Wellbeing, Integrity, Resilience, Equality, Diversity and Flexibility.

My Icons:

As I reflected on my mission, vision and values I made a list of the icons that represent me, my work and my purpose.

As I sat and reflected on my website as it went live and I revisited my thinking about my choices I realised that my brand and my website reflect my house and my garden. My brand symbolises my life choices. The colour scheme, the feel and the atmosphere we have created reflects the calm, stillness of my beautiful home and the vibrant growth of my garden. The butterflies that fly around my purple verbena and my silver birch trees in my garden have clearly inspired me. Maybe the ultimate message is that I feel rooted, empowered, full of energy and light, qualities I want to share with others.

So a big thank you to Blue and Richard for their creative talents. Also a big thank you to my friends who consulted on my logo and branding – your feedback was invaluable in our reflective process as we explored options. I loved the insight you shared on what did and did not represent me and what I stand for.

Do check out my website and let me know what you think! You can also join my monthly newsletter here.

#DailyWritingChallenge Day 60: Resourcefulness

Resource (s):

noun. a stock or supply of money, materials, staff, and other assets that can be drawn on by a person or organization in order to function effectively.

Resourceful:

adjective. having the ability to find quick and clever ways to overcome difficulties.

Resourcefulness:

noun. the ability to find quick and clever ways to overcome difficulties.

Resources:

are a source or supply from which a benefit is produced and that has some utility;
can be classified by their availability — renewable and non-renewable;
can be natural, human made and human;
can be categorised: Human Resources, Natural Resources, Economic Resources, Space Resources and Speculative Resources;
can be living.

So to be resourceful is to draw upon your resources. Or to find the resources you need to overcome an obstacle, to create a solution, to survive and thrive.

As I reflect on this theme I move back and forth from having resources to being resourceful. I think sometimes we see resources as something we purchase, as a one way relationship, however, I always think in the spirit of exchange. It makes me consider what we value, what we have and what we need.

As a teacher and a school leader I was resourceful with little resource. I could think on my feet and find solutions. I could create something out of nothing as I worked in schools with deficit budgets or start up budgets, here are some examples.

Exchanging Training as a Resource

As new VP in a school where 37 languages were being spoken. I was leading T&L/ CPD and no money for the whole year, but the school was inadequate and standards needed to rapidly improve. I had no resources but I was resourceful. Armed with a tea urn and some biscuits, I utilised Twitter and my network as a resource. I created a free #TeachMeet with a focus on EAL. 150 people came to South London, people travelled down from the North of the country, we created a network of support around the school and shared free resources with our staff. Everyone gave their time for free, but the value came from the network and the collaboration that grew. The resources shaped our offer, we worked with some of the experts and it shaped our vision into our provision. The following year we created a space, TLC, The Language Centre, at the heart of our school, staffed by a brilliant multi-lingual team. We also invested in Rosetta Stone as a digital resource. All of that from a tweet.

Exchanging Partnership as a Resource

As a start-up Headteacher we had a big beautiful school that had 1/10 of its capacity filled in our opening year. We were space rich but cash poor, we had big ideas but a very small budget! I leveraged what we had and went to old school bartering, I exchanged space for resource. We incubated organisations we wanted to work with, free rent in exchange for free services for our students, such as an Art Therapy Room. We had spaces we wanted to create to meet the needs of our students but we could not afford to resource them, like a Sensory Room and a Thrive Room, so I went out to our community partners and asked them to sponsor rooms in exchange for a plaque and some publicity.

Exchanging Time as a Resource

I value my time and my energy. I have negotiated quite a few things for time rather than for money in the past, for my own wellbeing. As a senior middle leader with a large team and the biggest subject cluster, I was asked to take on lots of additional whole school responsibilities and also lead MAT-wide initiatives. They were all things I wanted to say yes to, but I knew I was at the limit of my capacity and already working silly hours. When I was offered a pay increase and I declined it and requested two more free periods instead, the Headteacher laughed at me, but agreed it. We both left happy. As a Headteacher I leveraged this. We didn’t have the funds to pay time in lieu, or honour every additional responsibility so we created a wellbeing voucher scheme where a day off was gifted to recipients rather than extra money.

Exchanging Skills as a Resource

Being resourceful is about working out what you want/ need, then thinking outside of the box to find solutions. My solutions usually involve transactions, by evaluating what you have, you can work out what you can leverage. I heard someone call it a ‘skills exchange’ recently. Someone in our circle needed a service she could not afford to maximise her business, she was thinking of financial resource but had not considered that she could use her skills and talents as a a resource. She is a talented milliner and needed some PR. I suggested swapping some PR input for a headpiece, no money then needs to be exchanged.

These are a few examples of how I have been resourceful in the past. In my opinion and in my experience, to be resourceful draws on the following skills:

Being a creative thinker
Being solutions-focused
Being practical
Being a negotiator

Yet, as we reflect on being resourceful we also need to consider the differences between:

Having resources
Being a resource
Being resourceful
Receiving resourcefulness

We are surrounded by resources to help us learn and grow, but we do not always see them. We are also all a resource, but we do not always see this either.

As a teacher I used the ‘Book, Buddy, Boss triplet’ as a way to encourage my students to be more resourceful and to become more resilient as learners.

My trio of key resources for being resourceful are: Literature (books, articles, podcasts, videos and blogs), Network (friends, family, colleagues, twitter and LinkedIn), Me (we often forget ourselves).

#DailyWritingChallenge Day 59: Safety

noun. the condition of being protected from or unlikely to cause danger, risk, or injury.

Safety is the state of being “safe”, the condition of being protected from harm or other non-desirable outcomes. Safety can also refer to the control of recognized hazards in order to achieve an acceptable level of risk.

In the last few months our personal and physical safety has been at the forefront of our minds. We have focused time, energy and attention on protecting ourselves and the vulnerable, on identifying the risks and avoiding the hazards, of reducing potential harm.

Our Physical Safety has been the reason for lockdown and social isolation, for school closure and the world coming to an abrupt halt. The Government told us to stay home to stay safe, and we complied.

In the last few weeks school leaders and shop owners have been bogged down with statutory guidance. They have spent hours updating policies and preparing risk assessments to ensure that they are compliant with revised Health and Safety guidance. Yet, there has not been a significant focus on access arrangements and vulnerabilities for specific ethnic groups who are a higher risk. If you have not yet read it please review the BAMEed guidance in conjunction with the NHS for Schools and Guidance for supporting BAME colleagues in their return to school then you can find it here.

It is hard to tell the impact on our future at the moment and which of these visible Physical Safety measures will remain. I wonder when the signs will be taken down? I wonder when the floor tape will be peeled back? I wonder when the plastic shields will be removed from till fronts?

But how focused have we been on our Psychological Safety?

In the last few months people have felt emotionally unsafe. Key workers have feared for their lives. Families have feared for their loved ones. Some children will have spent 3 months in homes where they feel unsafe. Some partners will have spent 3 months in houses where they feel unsafe.

In the last few weeks Headteachers and school leaders have carried the burden of responsibility around the decision-making to open schools. They carry the weight of creating a space where staff feel safe to return and parents feel safe to send their children to.

Our Psychological Safety has been affected by lockdown. Social isolation and lockdown will have triggered the anxieties of many people who already suffered from mental health issues. The lack of structure and routine, the loneliness and boredom, the fear and uncertainty, will also have triggered new mental ill-health.

It is clear that we should be anticipating the long term impact on our future wellbeing. Mental health was already a national focus, will it be the invisible assassin haunting us as a legacy of lockdown? There is much talk about recovery curriculae to aid the transition of children back to schools, but what about the recovery curriculum for staff, for parents, for society? I wonder how we will tackle the longer-lasting psychological symptoms long after the physical symptoms have passed?

But we are not just talking about Covid-19 here either. Yes our safety from the invisible killer has been on our minds for an extended period of time, but we have been reactive and responsive, we have taken measures to be proactive and preventative. However, there are other things that make us feel vulnerable and unsafe.

Racial tensions. How reactive and responsive are we being to what we are watching on the news to ensure the physical and psychological safety of our fellow human beings? How proactive and preventative are we being in ensuring that people feel safe in our world, in our society?

25% of the US (2016 census) are non-white, how physically and psychologically safe do they feel right now living in a country where police brutality is endemic?

13% of the UK (2011 census) are non-white, how physically and psychologically safe do they feel right now living in our country, watching the police brutality on the news?

The reality is that we have children who feel unsafe, physically and psychologically and we have staff who feel unsafe, physically and psychologically. So what are we going to do about it?

In Leaders Eat Last Simon Sinek talks about the circles of safety we as leader weave around our teams. Leaders create a sense of safety. Leaders protect their teams from danger.

“By creating a Circle of Safety around the people in the organization … leadership reduces the threats people feel inside the group, which frees them up to focus more time and energy to protect the organization from the constant dangers outside and seize the big opportunities.”

Simon Sinek

Our leaders may be making us feel physically and psychologically safe from Covid-19, but we need the same level of attention and guidance for ensuring that our black and brown children, families and colleagues feel physically and psychologically safe in our schools, in our society, too. Because the reality is they do not, they are experiencing fear, unrest and an additional layer of trauma. The news is triggering heightened emotions.

We need to take collective responsibility for ensuring that we create conditions for psychological safety in the workplace by providing a safe space for employees to be their full selves. Denying what is happening in the US, pretending it is not going to affect us in the UK is reckless, lazy and dangerous.

“No one wants to leave part of their personality and inner life at home. But to be fully present at work, to feel “psychologically safe,” we must know that we can be free enough, sometimes, to share the things that scare us without fear of recriminations. We must be able to talk about what is messy or sad, to have hard conversations with colleagues who are driving us crazy. We can’t be focused just on efficiency.”

Project Aristotle, Google D&I initiative

Here are 10 ways to create psychological safety:

Do you operate an open door policy?
Do you express fallibility?
Do you treat others as they would like to be treated?
Do you nurture a curiosity culture and ask questions?
Do you create conditions for the healthiest form of conflict?
Do you give employees a voice and provide channels for feedback/ to encourage conversation?
Do you create a team climate characterized by interpersonal trust and mutual respect in which people are comfortable being themselves?
Do you promote effectiveness not efficiency?
Do you create a culture around taking risks, where all ideas are encouraged and unpredictable paths are embraced?
Do you offer flexible working arrangements and reasonable adjustments?

Some further reading:

How psychological safety works.

High-performing teams need psychological safety.

The psychological impact of explaining racism.

Three reasons to tackle minority stress.

Leveraging diversity through psychological safety.

6 ways to enable workplace safety.

You can also watch this 2014 TED talk from Harvard Professor Amy Edmondson on Psychological Safety. She has also written a book called The Fearless Organisation.

“Questions are really important in creating safety – they indicate to someone that you actually want to hear their voice”.

Amy Edmondson

We all deserve to feel safe. It is our right.

We all deserve to be seen and to be heard. It is our right.

We all deserve to be valued. It is our right.

#DailyWritingChallenge Day 58: Release

verb. allow or enable to escape from confinement; set free; allow (something) to move, act, or flow freely.

noun. the action or process of releasing or being released; the action of making a film, recording, or other product available to the public.

There is so much I could say on this theme but I am short on time this morning as I have an early commitment so I might have to come back later after this splurge!

Being Released:

I am interested in the word order of each of these definitions. Do others release me or do I release myself? I don’t wait for permission. I don’t wait for someone else to make those choices for me. I am empowered to take control and release me.

“Release your fears and you will unlock your growth”.

Finding Escape:

I am not very good in confinement. I don’t like small spaces. I get claustrophobic in lifts, in small rooms. I can’t think of anything worse than going caving. For me I feel released when I am outside, when I am by the sea. When I can see sky, sea and sand all around me I feel a sense of release, an internal shift. My happy place is our local beach Saunton Sands. Travel is a release for me, I get an immense sense of freedom from going to new places.

Setting Free:

I regularly set myself free. I release myself from situations that are not serving me. I eject myself from places that are not health. I release myself from friendships and relationships that do not meet my needs. I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings is one of my favourite books – freedom is not just physical, it is mental and emotional too. We need to set ourselves free and that starts with the mind.

Free Flowing:

I am enjoying the free flow of my new existence. I have always run my life like a military operation. Anyone who knows me, knows my diary, my calendar dictates where I am and what I do. I am multi-tasker and a juggler, I maximise my time and my energy. I have been released from that and am enjoying the freedom of less restrictions being imposed on me – no timetable, no duties, no bells – time is in free flow.

Going Public:

I am halfway through a blog about why June 1st is a significant date for me. It is the day I started Gardening Leave last year. I had released myself by resigning but June 1st 2019 was the day I was released from 18 years of being institutionalised. I have spoken up and out about it to release myself and others:

“You heal by releasing, you don’t heal by suppressing”.

It is why I chose it as the day this year to release my website, to go public with my new professional identity. I am proud to have released myself from a salary and to have gone independent: www.hannah-wilson.co.uk

I have released myself. I have found an escape. I have set myself free. I am free flowing. I have gone public. Maybe that is why I am feeling so light, so happy, so empowered and that everything is in alignment.

I love the links between each of the themes. The connections we make between each value and the connections we make between each other’s perspectives pulls the golden thread of our shared values through the collection each day.

This quote links yesterday’s theme of choice to today’s theme of release perfectly.

Success Quotes : I lovingly forgive and release…. – OMG Quotes ...

#DailyWritingChallenge Day 47: Beauty – a blog by Liz Cartledge

I love this quote for many reasons, it’s simplicity, it’s honesty and I believe it’s accuracy which it captures so well.

As I have grown older the definition of beauty and what I associate with beauty has changed dramatically. This has happened as I appreciate life in so many different ways and can see when beautiful things or acts happen.

As a teacher in a large secondary school, I am fortunate enough to work with many talented people who all possess beauty. Beauty because of what they have experienced and the way they are trying to inspire the future generation everyday when they teach.

The reason teaching is the best profession in the whole world is because we get to pass on our experience (good and bad), knowledge and understanding to others and so cascade beauty.

To be an effective teacher you have to have sensitivity, understanding and compassion for pupils and for your subject. It is true, ‘Beautiful people do not just happen’ it takes years which is why growing old, wise and becoming more measured means that, for many people the definition of beauty changes dramatically over the years.

We should be proud of our journey through life and embrace the good and the bad, because they will shape us to becoming more beautiful as a person as we grow and learn every day.

If you see something beautiful in a person, tell them because it will help to ensure their beauty is appreciated by all.

#DailyWritingChallenge Day 57: Choice

noun. an act of choosing between two or more possibilities. Choice involves decision making. It can include judging the merits of multiple options and selecting one or more of them. One can make a choice between imagined options or between real options followed by the corresponding action.

Life is full of choices. From the minute we wake up in the morning to when we go to bed at the end of the day we are in a constant state of making choices – we choose what to do, when to get up, what to do in what order: what to wear, what to eat, what to think and feel. We choose how to show up and how to be.

Choices start a chain reaction. Choices lead to Chances, Chances lead to Changes, Changes lead to Consequences, Consequences leads us back to Choices, and the cycle continues.

Choices can feel overwhelming and all consuming at times.

Choices can make both our head and our heart hurt.

Choices can be liberating and empowering.

Choices can bring us peace, calm and fulfilment.

I have always been quite good at making choices. I am a decisive person. I have a strong sense of intuition and a loud inner voice. I don’t procrastinate. I am a linear thinker and decision-maker. I make assertive decisions and I don’t fear missing out and seldom experience regrets. I have conviction to my choices and a commitment to making each choice work. I am also always empowered in the knowledge that it was my choice to say yes and lean in to something, so it is equally my choice to say no and lean out. I exercise this power regularly. I am in control of my choices.

Breaking CHOICES down:

Character

My values guide my choices and my confidence protects them.

“The content of your character is your choice. Day by day, what you choose, what you think and what you do is what you become”.

Heraclitus

Hopes

My choices are based on ambitions and aspirations. I am future-focused and don’t tend to look back.

“May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears”.

Nelson Mandela

Optimism

My can-do attitude and my solutions-focused approach means that if choices have consequences, I have anticipated them or I am resilient to deal with them.

“Cynicism is a choice. Optimism is a better choice”.

Shonda Rhimes

Integrity

My choices are driven by what I belief in, what I am passionate about. My choices are made in my core, in consultation with my head and my heart, framed by my values.

“Integrity, the choice between what is convenient and what is right”.

Tony Dungy

Consequences

Choices have consequences, but not making a choice has consequences too. I would always prefer regretting doing something than regretting not doing it.

“Each choice has a consequence. Each consequence has a destination”.

Joseph Worthlin

Empowerment

Everything is a choice. It is my life and I make choices that are right for me. I am empowered in my decision-making.

“I think that certainly my choices empower me”.

Kyra Sedgwick

Strength

A strong sense of self, self-awareness and self-reflection makes most choices easy to make. I am strong-willed and resilient. I am prepared to make unpopular choices and choices which separate me from the crowd.

“You never know how strong you are, until being strong is your only choice”.

Bob Marley

I read somewhere that “Confidence is silent. Insecurities are loud”. This really resonated me as I talk to people and support them in managing their Imposter Syndrome and diminishing their Inner Critic a lot. We must intentionally turn up the volume of our positive inner voice and mute the negative one so that our intuition can be heard and listened to.

For me choices are about conviction: self-belief, believing in your values and purpose, fuelled by your passion. Choices are about the alignment of your mission, vision and values.

It is hard for me to make choices when there is a lot of white noise around me. I need silence and stillness to make choices. I have enjoyed the quiet of the last few months and have embraced the solitude to do a lot of reflection – I have made a lot of conscious choices and wonder if others find themselves in the same situation of quiet reflection and empowered decision-making.

“Silence is a great source of strength”.

Lao Tzu

As I reflect on choices I have made about my life and my career, I am happy and content. I am exploring my new identity and sense of belonging as I have made a lot of choices in the last few months which bring them new chances, new change and possibly new consequences: I have chosen to resign, I have chosen to go independent, I have chosen to study, I have chosen how I want to work, I have chosen what I want to do, I have chosen who I want to work with.

I have ultimately, and in many ways unintentionally, chosen to be a liminal leader.

“Leadership is a choice, not a position”.

Stephen Covey

My experiences in schools, as a leader over the last two decades, have given me wisdom and insight about myself on many levels, personally and professionally.

I am happy in the choices I have made and I hope you are too. I choose to be happy each day. I choose to embrace the joy in my life. I choose to be kind to myself. I choose me.

“Attitude is a choice.

Happiness is a choice.

Optimism is a choice.

Kindness is a choice.

Giving is a choice.

Respect is a choice.

Whatever choice you make makes you.

Choose wisely.”

Roy Bennett

#DailyWritingChallenge Day 56: Boldness

noun. willingness to take risks and act innovatively; confidence or courage; the quality of having a strong, vivid, or clear appearance.

Boldness is the opposite of fearfulness. To be bold implies a willingness to get things done despite risks. Boldness may be a property that only certain individuals are able to display.

How willing are we to take risks? How confident are we to act innovatively? How courageous are we to stand out? How bold are we to face our fear of failing?

Boldness. Being bold. Being fearless.

I read an article recently with 13 tips on how to be bold and live a fearless life, most of which is my default setting for who I am and how I live:

Be authentic, scared and vulnerable.
Learn from failure.
Challenge convention.
Connect with others.
Speak up.
Take action.
Do what it takes.
Ask for help.
Learn to trust yourself.
Learn new skills.
Shrink your fear.
Expect the best.
Don’t give up.

So today I am going to be bold and share the shame I am feeling.

For the last 11 weeks I have regularly said to close friends and family that I feel a deep shame in being English right now, I am embarrassed by the mess that our country is in, I am ashamed of the state of our government. The response I normally get is something along the lines of “it could be worse, you could be American”, as if it is reassuring that another country has screwed up more than we have.

For the last week, I have also been feeling ashamed of being white. I feel shame when I see what is happening in America, how black people are being treated by white people. I feel shame and sorrow when I see my diverse PLN sharing their pain on social media. I have been deeply affected by posts by mothers I know of black and brown boys, who have shared their angst about bringing up their sons in an unsafe world. In a world where life is not sacred, where the colour of your skin determines your value.

I feel shame that in filtering out the media to reduce the Covid-19 scaremongering that I have also filtered out the news about peaceful protests, riots and celebration of life.

I wrote an article early on in lockdown about the world needing values to see us through the social isolation. I had hope and optimism that this period of time was going to be an awakening, we were going to reset and return to factory settings as human beings. But now I fear the ugly side of humanity that is surfacing, whilst the world sits and watches it unravel on the news.

It is inescapable. On every media platform I am witnessing human suffering. In every social media feed I am absorbing second-hand the pain being shared. Many of my BAME friends and colleagues are speaking out publicly – for some, for the first time. They are sharing what their children are asking them and the fears they are sharing in the safety of their home about how they feel in our society. BAME children feel unsafe seeing how BAME adults are being treated.

What message are we sending children in our schools about the value of their lives?

If fear is the enemy of boldness, then we need to be bold and stand up to it. We being white people. We being those with power and privilege. Fear of failure, fear of judgement, fear of criticism, fear of repercussions are holding us back. We may not have ALL of the answers nor the solutions, but we can show union and solidarity. We can see, we can listen, we can learn, we can support, we can challenge and we can change.

White people need to listen to the fear and suffering of our BAME colleagues, we need to be bold, we need to stand up and we need ti be counted. We need to provide a human shield to protect others from further suffering. We need to be united in fighting this, together in solidarity.

If we remain quiet we are complicit. If we DM our BAME colleagues rather than tweet out that #BlackLivesMatter, then we are part of the problem. If we refuse to acknowledge that we have a big problem in society to tackle, we will be enabling more loss of lives.

How willing are we to take risks? How confident are we to act innovatively? How courageous are we to stand out? How bold are we to face our fear of failing?

We need to take a risk and raise our heads above the parapet. We need to be confident in what is right. We need to be courageous to challenge what is wrong. We need to be bold and face getting it wrong. We need to be bold and not fear failure.

The reality is that there are bigger risks and bigger fears if we do nothing, if we stay silent.

I saw this on LinkedIn and it made me reflect on all of the socially acceptable microaggressions that we need to challenge.

So to parallel the 13 tips on being bold at the start of the blog, here are 13 things we can read/ watch/ listen/ share, to raise awareness and encourage us all to be bold and stand up to racism:

Please read this thread from my friend Angie Browne on being a Mother of a brown boy.
Please read this tweet from Aisha Thomas on the question her son asked her.
Please consider Alison Kriel’s suggestion of adding #Ubuntu to your social media profile to show solidarity.
Please visit Pran Patel‘s blog who shared multiple perspectives on racism, privilege and power.
Please read this letter from Marsha Ramroop.
Please check out these anti-racist resources for white people.
Please read and share this guidance from BAMEed on access guidance for BAME colleagues returning to work.
Please sign this petition from BAME Leadership demanding a race equality strategy for Covid-19.
Please visit I Am Here, We See You, a project around positive representation founded by Nadine Bernard. Please also follow on Instagram.
Please watch this video from Nike.
Please watch this video from my friend Angie Browne here.
Please join Yasmin Sidwa and Mandala Theatre live on Facebook at 11am on Wednesday in discussion about speaking out and not remaining silent in times where we see injustice.
Please read this advice from BAMEed penned by Dr Muna Abdi on being an ally:

Some quotes on being bold to conclude to empower us all to find and use our voice, to empower us to have agency and to empower us to be bold and to become activists in challenging what is wrong and in doing what is right:

“Be bold, take courage… and be strong of soul”.

Ovid

“If we are bold, love strikes away the chains of fear from our souls”.

Maya Angelou

“In a highly critical, scarcity-based world, everyone’s afraid to fail.

As long as we’re afraid to fail, we’ll never come up with the big, bold ideas we need to solve these problems”.

Brene Brown

Support Strategies for Leaders

I went for a walk with a friend to talk about her new role, a big promotion to a senior leadership role in a new organisation. She does not work in schools but is in education. She is an expert in her field but she does not have experience in a formal leadership role. Despite being encouraged to apply for the role, performing well at interview and securing the role, she is hesitant. Unfortunately, as is often the case, the Imposter Syndrome and the Inner Critic have come to visit, and they are undermining her confidence in performing in the role. She has been doing lots of reading about how to prepare for the transition and we discussed some of these frames on as we walked and talked.

One of her questions has really made me think and I have passed this question on to others in the last few weeks to gather their responses:

When you became a Senior Leader which of the following professional supporters did you have: Mentor? Coach? Sponsor? Therapist?

She shared that she had a read a piece of literature identifying that these different people are sources of external support for your careers. They are experts which you need to have, or to find, to draw strength from to help you grow and perform in a leadership role.

I can’t find a model with these 4 functions on, but this is the closest I can find about the intersection between these different resources.

I am going to reflect on who I have had for each of the 4 categories she asked me about.

Mentors:

I was fortunate in my career to have strong line managers who mentored me in my roles. One who stands out is Rob who was VP when I was AP. Our weekly line management meetings were developmental and he actively mentored me. He built CPD and professional growth personalised for me into these sessions.

I have shared a process he made me do each week with others before – at the start of each academic year he would ask me to RAG rate the job spec for the role above me, in this case VP. I would highlight in green my strengths, in yellow my growing areas of competence and in pink the areas I needed to work on. It was my self-evaluation tool for my performance as a leader. He would then work on the pinks with me to make them yellow. Each term we would revisit and I could see the progress I was making to my next step as the pinks became yellow and the yellow became green. He was a brilliant mentor for developing technical expertise, the what of leadership. This process developed my skills but also my confidence, it also enabled me to track my impact.

In my career I have lacked female mentors around me so I have actively sought them out and this is part of the reason why I co-founded #WomenEd. When I became a new Headteacher I did not have a mentor and I was not really line managed so I found mentors from my network who I could call on when I needed to know how to do things. I took it upon myself to identify these people and asked them to help. I have learnt a lot about the how of leadership by observing others and how they deal with things, also by asking them to show me how to do things that are new or foreign to me.

My advice re mentors is that they should be your line manager or someone in your organisation. If not then someone who has done your role or who is doing your role. You want someone with recent experience and current knowledge, who can walk you through some of the things you want to learn. Mentors will help you navigate the systems and processes of your leadership. With a mentor there is a professional respect but you might not cross over into the emotional aspects of leadership depending on the type of mentoring relationship that you establish.

You can read more on mentorship here and here.

Coaches:

Through leadership courses I have done in the past I have had coaching as they have been offered as part of the programme. These coaches have been about the technical skills I was developing on my NPQSL or NPQH. Through #WomenEd events I have met so many brilliant coaches that I have had a number of coaching conversations over the years. When I start a new role I want a mentor for the first layer of support, the first term or the first year is about developing confidence and expertise. As I begin to perform from muscle memory and the role settles into a rhythm and flow, with confidence in what to do, this is when I seek coaching. A coach helps me to perform at my best.

Moreover a coach helps me to navigate conflicts, dilemmas and stay in alignment with my values. I can remember talking about coaching with an old flat mate, Stephen. He was a Senior Leader at Barclays at the time. He was an accelerated leadership pathway and had a coach. A career coach who was invested in him and what was right for him, not what was right for the organisation. This objective and neutral lens, enabled him to discuss opportunities within and beyond the organisation openly, and evaluate the best next steps for him as an individual.

Coaching has especially served me when I have experienced dilemmas and I have not wanted to discuss them with colleagues I see daily. Having someone to meet or to call to run scenarios by, to unpack how you are feeling and to navigate the frustrations is for me a process of sense-making. The probing questions will help you pull a thread out of a messy knot. Moreover, coaching helps to settle the head and the heart.

The timing and location of a coaching session is key, especially for school leaders. Where a line management or mentoring meeting can happen during the working day, I have struggled to fully embrace a coaching session when I am at work, particularly when working in a frenetic school with constant interruptions. I have found coaching in evenings, on weekends and in the holidays has give me the head space to then reflect and process on the questions posed so that I can self-coach following the coaching session and fully process. I often need to sleep on it and wake up with a fresh perspective.

My advice re coaches is that they should not be your line manager or someone in your organisation. They need to be someone objective and neutral. They are invested in you and not your employer. Finding the right coach is about fit and rapport. I have tried different coaches and different coaching style and would recommend you don’t make a commitment until you have had a trial session. Coaches will help you navigate your leadership values, behaviours and dilemmas. With a coach you can be your vulnerable and authentic self, you will explore your emotions and you will develop your emotional intelligence.

You can read more on coaching here and here.

Sponsors:

This term is becoming more common in UK leadership rhetoric but stems from US leadership culture. A sponsor is someone who is in a position of power, someone with influence. A sponsor is someone who champions you and advocates for you. A sponsor is someone who opens doors for you, creates opportunities for you and grows your network for you. A sponsor will ‘tap you on the shoulder’ and will encourage you to step out of your comfort zone and take a leap of faith.

I have had some brilliant sponsors and door-openers in my career. I have had Headteachers who have invested in me and rooted for me. They have enabled me, my career and my rate of progress up the leadership ladder. Externally, I have had many sponsors too. I have experienced and established leaders in my network who have brought me in on projects and exposed to me to opportunities that I would not have known about.

My advice re sponsors is that you cannot force this relationship. However, I have challenged individuals when I have felt there is some bias in who they are sponsoring. I have worked in MATs where experienced male HTs sponsor dynamic, ambitious male AHTs and put them on a fast track to headship. I have encouraged these white, straight males to consider sponsoring a high-potential female or BAME leader who needs the sponsorship more.

You can read more on sponsorship here, here and here.

Therapists:

Counselling or therapy is not a resource I have needed to draw on. I don’t carry very much emotional baggage and I have not experienced a lot of trauma. I know that a lot of my friends and colleagues have drawn on therapeutic services to help them in their healing process, sometimes to explore mental health issues, identity issues or bereavement and loss. I am a trained Mental Health First Aider, and I am very mindful of signposting friends and colleagues to experts if I feel that our conversations are identifying a layer of support that I cannot offer as a mentor, coach or sponsor.

Therapy is about increasing self-awareness and personal insight, through the process of reflection and connecting our personal history to how we are currently functioning. I have encouraged several friends to engage in counselling or a form of therapy when they have not been coping. Especially following a trauma or a bereavement, there is still some debunking of myths and destigmatising we need to do around engaging in such a source of support.

My limited advice on seeking a therapist is that if you feel like you are not coping then you should seek advice from a medical expert:

Talking therapies can help you work out how to deal with negative thoughts and feelings and make positive changes. They can help people who are feeling distressed by difficult events in their lives as well as people with a mental health problem.

You can read more on therapy here and here.

The other category I would add from my own personal experience is Critical Friendship.

Critical Friends:

A critical friend is someone who is encouraging and supportive, but who also provides honest and often candid feedback that may be uncomfortable or difficult to hear. Throughout my career I have sought people around me to challenge me and to give me constructive feedback. I have formed friendships with peers in my school or in a school within our group of schools to align myself with, but also to learn and grow from. As a female VP, I grew a circle of other females VPs around me. Women who I trusted and admired.

I have also curated a network through social media of critical friends. People who I initially followed and admired, people who I met remotely but who have become face to face friends through connecting at events. As our paths have crossed our critical friendship has grown.

A critical friend is someone who agrees to speak truthfully, but constructively, about weaknesses, problems, and emotionally charged issues. Critical friendship for me is a two-way process based on mutual respect and trust. I have critical friends who I bounce ideas around with, who I ask to review things I have done to give me critical feedback.

I am currently going through an accreditation process to become a Resilient Leadership Consultant and I have been paired with a coaching buddy in the states. In our initial call we have shared a lot about our personal motivations and our professional journeys. We have shared details of who we are at our best and what helps and hinders us.

My advice re finding and forming critical friendships is that they need to be intentional. There is a process of contracting with your buddy around how and when to give and receive criticism which is vital to how successful this relationship will be.

You can read more on critical friendship here and here.

Reflection:

In a range of different conversations with different leaders that have followed that initial conversation I have asked them to consider who in their personal and professional lives falls into each of those categories and whether they have gaps in the circles of support around them. The gaps can then be intentionally filled by careful networking and identifying people to follow and connect with.

I have also asked them to consider which of these categories they fall into for other people:

As a Senior Leader which of the following professional supports do you fulfil for others: Mentor? Coach? Sponsor? Therapist?

Since my friend raised this with me I have been reflecting on it a lot. It is an interesting lens through which to review your leadership identity. I have reflected on different stages of my career and who I have leaned on. I have also considered who has opened a door, given me a helping hand and a leg up as was needed. We sometimes lump all of our network into one big circle, but reviewing my supporters and categorising them has been a process of awareness for me. Moreover, as I transition into a new role and a new way of leading, it has enabled me to look at my network with a fresh set of eyes and identify current gaps for me to intentionally close.

You wouldn’t hire an electrician to fix a leaky pipe, so why hire the wrong professional to help solve your career issues?

Read more on when to draw on each type of support here.

Therapy: the foundation of your home. We all have a past, and sometimes past emotional issues are still an issue in how we function today.

Consultants: the windows and walls of your home. If you wanted to replace your windows, you would call an expert to recommend the best windows for your home.

Coaching: the home renovation blueprint; it creates a future vision and an action plan to get there.

Mentoring: the all-knowing friend who has recently—and successfully—bought a home and is full of advice and connections.

#DailyWritingChallenge Day 55: Pride

noun. a feeling or deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one’s own achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired; confidence and self-respect as expressed by members of a group, typically one that has been socially marginalized, on the basis of their shared identity, culture, and experience.

Continue reading “#DailyWritingChallenge Day 55: Pride”